elysian_event_productions

Finding Strength and Hope: My Journey Through Cancer and Loss

Sat, 02 Nov 2024 00:39:46 GMT

I previously shared my journey with cancer in a 2019 social media post, and now that October, a month dedicated to Breast Cancer Awareness, has passed, I felt led to recap my journey on this platform and reflect more on everything that happened since that post.

Cancer—the word alone carries so much weight. It’s a disease that’s difficult to accept, painful to endure, and heartbreaking to witness in someone you love. Believe me, I understand this all too well, having experienced it from both sides.

As we closed out Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I wanted to encourage anyone who had been affected by this illness, whether personally or through a loved one.

For Those Facing the Battle:

In 1997 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. As you can imagine, it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Fear took hold of me the moment I received the diagnosis—fear of surgery, of reconstruction, of chemotherapy, of the toll it would take on my family. I was scared of the doctors, the hospital, the overwhelming medical bills, and yes, I even feared losing my hair. Fear threatened to consume me, but today I can stand and shout out..."I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." - Psalm 139:14

Looking back, I realize that cancer doesn’t just attack the body; it comes with a heavy weight of fear attached to it. The physical battle is intense, but the emotional battle against fear can be just as hard.
One of the best ways to fight that fear is to surround yourself with people who love and support you. I would not have made it through without the incredible support system I was blessed with. My husband, my daughters, (young as they were back then) my parents, my extended family and friends were my rock. I was never alone, I had a dear friend Kay, who never missed a single chemotherapy session, family members who tended to my wounds daily, and others who helped me focus on the positives in life. The Cancer Association and my church community were there every step of the way lifting me up in prayer.

This wonderful group of people helped me break the journey down into manageable steps instead of trying to take in the overwhelming whole. Slowly, day by day, I began to walk the path of healing. My focus shifted from fear to hope, and one step at a time, I began to regain my strength and confidence. My cancer journey highlighted the significance of surrounding oneself with love, care, and support. I feel fortunate to have had an incredible network who helped me navigate the emotional ups and downs. Their presence was a valuable reminder of the power of love and support.

Now, 27 years after my diagnosis, I stand here today, in October 2024, only by God’s grace.

My message to you is simple: I urge you: prioritize your health and get screened. A simple check-up can change everything. Please, follow recommended tests and prioritize early detection – it's vital for your well-being and better outcomes.

For Those Who Have Lost a Loved One:

Now, on the other side of this disease is the deep pain of watching someone you love battle with cancer—and worse, losing them to it. This is one of the hardest pains I’ve experienced. I won’t pretend to have all the answers for how to cope. I am still struggling with the loss of my sister to cancer in May 2024 and my sister-in-law in 2015. Both were beautiful, vibrant, and compassionate people. In between those years, I also lost my mother, three brothers, and two nephews. The weight of these losses is often overwhelming and unbearable.

My advice remains the same: surround yourself with loved ones. Difficult as it may be, get rooted into the Bible and spend time with God. In my grief, I’ve found myself asking, "Mwari (God), why, and when will this stop?" I still don’t have the answers, and I may not want to hear them, but I’ve had to refocus and keep turning to the word of God to find solace and strength.

I also urge you to find someone you trust to talk to—someone who can help you process the emotions. Don’t walk through the grief alone.

Breast Cancer Awareness - it's a journey, not a destination. Let’s walk this journey together!

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." —Psalm 34:18

And remember, excellence always!

Celebrating Six Decades

Sat, 24 Feb 2024 01:31:49 GMT

As I stand at the threshold of my 60th birthday, I am overcome with a profound sense of gratitude and awe for the immense blessings that have graced my life. This milestone is not just a marker of time but a testament to the unfailing grace of God that has guided me through every triumph, trial, and tribulation shaping me into the person I am today.

At the heart of my journey are the pillars of my nuclear and extended family—they are my rock, my support, and my greatest source of love and joy.
Three months shy of turning 60, my mum was still here on earth with us and I could not fathom my life without her in it. She was always very active in my life, her prayers molded me to be where and who I am today.

To my late dad and mum, my beloved spouse Eric, my amazing daughters, Tsho and Thabile, my sons through marriage, Ngoni and Davis, to the wider family network, dearest Mukoma Patrick, my dear sister Trish, my late brothers, Bonnie, Peter, Paul, Dougie, sisters in law, my nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews, my family through marriage - I cannot thank you enough for being by my side.

Your unwavering love, encouragement, and sacrifices have been the bedrock upon which I have built my life. Together, we have weathered storms, celebrated victories, and embraced the precious moments that make life truly meaningful. Each of you is a cherished gift from above, and I am forever thankful for the privilege of sharing this journey with you.

My journey has also been marked by moments of personal anguish, top of the list being my courageous battle against breast cancer. In those dark days, I experienced firsthand the power of faith, resilience, and the healing grace of God. Through the prayers of my loved ones, their support and the skilled hands of medical professionals, I emerged stronger, more grateful, and with a renewed sense of purpose. Every day since has been a precious gift, which I daren’t take for granted, a reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of cherishing and celebrating every moment.

Among the greatest joys of my life has been witnessing the marriage of my two beloved daughters. To see them embark on their own journeys of love and commitment fills my heart with immense pride and indescribable joy. Through these marriages, our family grows bigger, and I am grateful for the blessing of witnessing their happiness, evidence of the love and values instilled in them. God has granted great blessings on my husband and me with such remarkable daughters and sons-in-law.

As I celeb rate this milestone birthday, I am filled with appreciation for the friendships forged over the years, especially those from my high school days. These bonds have stood the test of time, offering support, laughter, and shared memories that enrich my life beyond measure. Other friendships were formed in different times of my life, most of which have become family, the brothers and sisters that were heaven sent. These bonds have been another key contributor to who I am today. (They are the gift that keeps on giving.)

I thank God for the gift of friendship and the countless blessings that flow from these cherished relationships. I would love to name you all…but if you know you know.

Proverbs 18:16 reads ‘Your gift opens doors for you, and brings you before great men’ Throughout my working life, this has rang true as I have been privileged to serve as an Events Management Specialist and Planner for numerous clients from all walks of life. It is a role that I have approached with reverence, and I am always humbled by the trust placed in me for such significant moments.

In addition, I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude to my esteemed colleagues and friends in the events industry. Their unwavering support, collaborative spirit, and innovative contributions have been invaluable throughout the journey. No person is an island, and indeed, in the dynamic realm of events, success is often the result of collective effort and shared knowledge.

I am deeply appreciative of the enriching experiences and enduring friendships cultivated over the past three decades in this vibrant sector. Together, we have witnessed the evolution of events, adapting to new trends, technologies, and challenges with resilience and creativity.I am continuously inspired by the passion and ingenuity of my peers, both near and far.

One of the most fulfilling aspects of my journey has been the opportunity to serve as a teacher and mentor. It's an absolute honor to witness individuals from diverse backgrounds and age groups, whom I've had the privilege to mentor, blossom into accomplished professionals in fields ranging from law, medicine to event planning and beyond. There's something truly magical about seeing the seeds of potential I've nurtured grow into flourishing careers and remarkable achievements. That’s God’s goodness allowing me to share my nuggets on life with different people.

In every chapter of my life, from the joys of family to the challenges of illness, from the triumphs of athletic achievement to the blessings of marriage and friendship, I see the hand of God at work. His grace has been my constant companion, guiding me through the highs and lows, and filling my heart with boundless gratitude for the richness of life's journey.

I am geared to embark on the next phase of my adventure, and I do so with a spirit of humility, and a deep faith in the divine plan that unfolds before me. For all that has been and all that is yet to come, I offer my heartfelt gratitude to God, the source of all blessings, and the guiding light of my life's journey.

And remember, excellence always!

I Do, You Do, We All Do

Mon, 13 Nov 2023 03:13:58 GMT

When we think of etiquette, we limit it to mainly business, dining, grooming and social etiquette, but we hardly think about nor consider wedding etiquette.

Interestingly, over the years, wedding etiquette guidelines have evolved and have been redefined to suit the individual couple and their families, thus breaking away from the norm and usual traditions. But certain ‘old-school’ wedding etiquette rules cannot be sidelined.

Communication is etiquette within itself - courtesy, inclusion and cohesion. A wedding is a complete partnership between the bride and groom that should be wholly enjoyed by both parties. The misconceptions that weddings are for the bride need to be safely packed away. Communication between the couple is key, and they need to be on the same page.

You would be shocked to know that there are couples with such independent ideas for their wedding, and they each have an individual plan that has nothing to do with the other. In my opinion, communication between the to-be-spouses is key and usually the first big undertaking they will tackle together. Many believe planning a wedding will test a marriage, but I believe this only happens when a couple's vision is not aligned and communicated effectively.

Before getting started with planning one of the biggest and most special days of your lives, couples should consider some important points from the get-go:

Decide on the vision and budget, then come to the families and vendors with one voice.
Disagreements will happen; keep it private, and do not complain to your vendors, family or bridal party about your spouse.
Although it is “your” day, it's not all about you. Food choice, bar options, thank you's and more, determine your guests' experience. You want guests to rave about your wedding. So, remember the guests' experience is an important part of your day.

Financial Etiquette

Finances are a key component to the success of any event, and probably one of the most common reasons that couples and their families have disagreements.

Over the years I have seen how financial etiquette traditions have evolved. Some may consider it old-fashioned, but it used to be the etiquette that the bride and her side of the family would pay for flowers, decor, cake, photography etc, while the groom and his side of the family would pay for the officiant fee, rehearsal dinner, DJ, bar etc. This etiquette is slowly fading away.

Suggestions for couples not following the traditional finance etiquette include:

The budget should be the first discussion couples have together and with their families. Determining the financial contributions and togetherness in the budget phase is paramount.
Discuss your priorities. What elements of the day are most important to each of you? As a planner, I like giving the bride and the groom two to three non-negotiables each. (I get to throw in my two as the planner.)
Be realistic about what you can afford. DO NOT over-commit yourselves, or plan for money you hope to get in the future. Always work with guaranteed money. You would rather comfortably cover costs than be overwhelmed with escalating expenses.
If there is any need for assistance from family members, it is best to present what you as a couple can afford and where the family can come in and help. Have this conversation early in the planning stages, and do not wait!
Keep the circle of people who can have an input in your day small. Too many opinions become overwhelming, confusing and frustrating.

While your wedding is special and one of the most important days of your lives, it's essential to strike a balance between creating beautiful long-lasting memories and ensuring you have a secure financial future together. Let's celebrate your love in a way that's meaningful, while being mindful of the fact that your life together extends far beyond just your wedding day.

Couple’s Etiquette to Service Professionals

Poor planning produces poor results, therefore after communicating your ideas, the next step is to put them together and come up with a solid plan. Your Wedding Planner should become your right hand in terms of using their experience, exposure and expertise to bring the dreams, desires and dedicated wishes to life, as well as overseeing the other service professionals.

For some, planning a wedding plus other circumstances can make one feel stressed, but it is important to remember some key points:

Service Professionals are there to execute your vision. Make sure you do extensive research on them. You and your Service Professionals are on the same team. Avoid using them as your punching bag to be bullied or to take out the brunt of frustrations. Enjoy your planning journey with your team.

NOTE: It is ok to enquire from several different service professionals in the same category (I encourage it), but it’s equally important to advise them you will not require their services. Do not ghost them.

Honest and transparent communication is vital, especially with your Wedding Planner. They are there to put out fires, give advice and be your “wingman," but they can not do that if the couple is not transparent.
Communicating on seemingly small things such as running late is also considered good and polite etiquette. If you are running late, communicate that to your Service Professional as their time is precious too.
The final payment standard varies within the industry, but making sure final payments are done 1 month to 2 weeks before the wedding allows for the couple to go into their day stress-free, and it allows for service professionals to make sure they have everything they need with ample time. It also reduces any awkwardness between the couple and Service Professionals with outstanding balances. It is always my desire for the month of the wedding to be all about joy. All the planning is left in my court, and the couple just focuses on having fun and being stress-free as much as possible leading up to the wedding.
It would be great to incorporate at least one meal for your Service Professionals on the day. For most of them, it's an extremely long and exhausting day. To be able to finish the day strong they need to eat and (soft) drink too.
Finally, show gratitude. A lot of work goes on behind the scenes, and even though it is paid services, most Service Professionals (at least the ones I work with), go above and beyond. Gratitude could be thanking them in your speech, sending a message the next day or posting a review on their social media pages.

Navigating the world of wedding planning involves effective communication, financial responsibility, and mutual respect between couples, families and service professionals.

Phew, I could go on and on, when it comes to etiquette, but let me end it here for this edition. Please watch this space - I have three more parts to this series!

And remember, excellence always!

Guests Who Ghost

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 02:55:29 GMT

"To RSVP is to show RESPECT."

Imagine this…you are going on a date with that person that you have had a crush on for the longest time. The two of you have set a date that is a few weeks away, giving you ample time to prepare for this outing, of which it will be your treat.

You take your time to research for the perfect restaurant. You personally go in and reserve the best table with a view over the beautiful lake that sparkles when the twinkling stars reflect on its surface. Adding even more to the ambiance, the moon is set to be full that night, with its glowing hue creating a picturesque backdrop.

Before you splurge on a new outfit, you ensure to call and reconfirm that the date is indeed still on, and you are met with an emphatic, “Yes, and I cannot wait to see you!”

The days move by so slowly, but the big day finally arrives.You are so organised and know your crush’s favourite food, so you plan and pre-order the most decadent meal you can imagine. You think of it all - the canapes, main meal and the perfect dessert.

After dinner, you plan a private boat trip on the lake to end the outing on an unforgettable note. Then horror happens… you are stood up. No phone call to cancel and no message to notify you - just a “no show.”

This scenario, dramatic as it may be, is the exact representation of what people go through when they invite guests to occasions like their weddings or noteworthy celebrations. Guests are not “crushes,” but they are very important. A lot of time, effort, emotions and money are invested so they can share in these special moments.

Invitations, place settings, meals and so much more are involved in planning the big occasion, and these are significant costs to the host. We never think about it, but it is a fact. Planners, venues, the furniture, equipment, food and drinks are all charged according to the number of guests.

The current trend is to have personalised place settings which takes time, effort and cost to execute. All of this means that the hosts have taken the time to research the perfect location, pre-ordered the perfect meal, ensured that there is select entertainment and bought the perfect outfit, for this big day they are sharing with you, and then you choose to just not show up, without notification. It's devastating to the hosts, and it is in poor taste. It comes at a great cost and can even alter relationships.

For the most part, a guest receives an invite because the hosts hold you in high regard, only for you to not show up, which is bad social etiquette .

RSVP – Respondez S’il Vous Plait is French which simply means “Please Respond” to something that is very important. However, it tends to get overlooked. To RSVP is to show RESPECT.

Today, a minimum cost per guest - for a wedding in particular - from the invitation to the execution of the event costs around USD80 per person, and is trending upwards. This means that when people just do not show up, money is wasted, which could have been allocated somewhere else or saved.

Over time, many people have moved away from having big occasions and pivoted to intimate events with their nearest and dearest whom they know - or at least hope - will make the effort to show up, share in the moment with love and take to heart the effort put into the big day.

Food for thought for guests/invitees :

It takes just a few seconds to send that crucial message stating whether you can or cannot make it to the event
There is time and effort, plus emotional and financial investment, that goes into your attendance. When the hosts plan for you to be there, and you do not show, there are more repercussions than you may think of such as:
Overpaying for food and drinks
Awkward seating because there are gaps on the tables
Not only is not showing up an issue, but also showing up when you initially regretted, has repercussions too such as:
No available seat for you
Not enough food for you or other guests
A lack of RSVP response can skew the service staff to guest ratio used to ensure swift service

(These are just a few of the repercussions)

Advice for the hosts :

When invitations are sent out (especially electronically), add a polite note briefly stating that RSVPs are important
Keep an organized sheet/document that has the invite list where you can track the RSVP responses
Designate a specific phone number (preferably not your personal number, as it can be overwhelming to get hundreds of people replying) and a person to follow up on RSVP responses
Two weeks before the event, send a reminder message stating you are excited to see them in a couple of weeks and to let you know ASAP if their plans to attend have changed

And remember, excellence always!

Proudly Stubborn Standards

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 18:36:41 GMT

"Excellence is an attitude."

Pride is one of those character traits that is undesirable if you are a service provider or vendor in the Events Industry. However, one thing I am proud of and will not be swayed from is my adherence to the standard of excellence.

The mistake that is often made is the assumption that quality and excellence translate to a high budget. This is far from the truth - excellence is an attitude that transcends all levels of monetary value .

We, in the events industry need to be more than aware of this, in fact we need to be pedantic about paying attention to every detail no matter how small.

People can invest a lifetime in their special occasions.

They have dreamt, planned, and budgeted for months, sometimes even years, and as we know weddings a lot of times can stem from as far back as childhood fantasies.

One of the worst things that can happen to clients is that after walking in to see their “dream come true,” they are met with disappointment when presented with their set up, meals, attire or poorly captured photos and/or videos. After the tremendous anticipation, the disappointment may not be undoable.

Granted there are clients that have a “soft drinks budget” and insist on a champagne level of lavishness for their event.

Nowadays there are several tiers of equipment and decor that can replicate the look and feel of the picture perfect events, but they also need the strictest level of attention to detail to produce what is desired .

There are no shortcuts. “Poor planning will produce poor products.” All stakeholders play an integral part of the planning process.

By the time that the event is being executed, each service provider should be in a position to sing their part forwards and backwards. That is why, as an event planner I hold the service providers I work with to a very high standard - they know that I do not compromise the quality of work that we present to our clients.

We’ve noticed that an oversight of key elements can completely ruin a day.

So, over the years I have developed partnerships and alliances with service providers whom I know are proud of their standard of excellence, and I can trust them. They are referred to as my “Preferred Vendors List.” I am quick to praise their amazing work, but also will not hesitate to let them know when their standard isn’t up to par, and likewise they can do the same with me. Open communication has been and will always be a key component of our smooth working relationship .

On the flip side of the coin, some clients will shop around according to “price” and find themselves disappointed with their experience because shortcuts were taken. I urge clients to do their homework when enlisting us service providers. The search should not end on price only .

There is so much more to planning an event successfully, such as:

The administrative process, communication and execution go hand in hand - there is no “winging it” in events. It needs to run like a well-oiled machine
Quality control is a “non-negotiable.” Checking quality at every step of the process is a must..
Surround yourself with service providers who also strive for excellence, as they are reflection on/of you

Finally, we need to be able to stand by our brand, and the fact that industry peers and clients will take pride in aligning themselves with it. Pride going hand in hand with being stubborn about excellent standards is therefore a prerequisite in our industry.

Continue to follow along as we dive into different topics.

And remember, excellence always!

The Event Industry's Pet

Fri, 31 Mar 2023 02:41:43 GMT

(Derived from the Teacher's Pet...pun intended)

Events in every sense have been that teacher that has meant the most to me and played a profound part in who I have become as a whole. I have put so much of myself into this vocation, which has meant a lot of hard work, some failed tests, and times where I honestly wanted to give up, but my passion for the craft has driven me forward.

A memorable moment at the beginning of my career in events was with a couple whose dynamics were very interesting to say the least. He was a proud, boisterous man, while she was a sweet angel who did everything he said without question, (except this one time).

He wasn’t involved in the planning at all even after my many attempts at including him. During these meetings without him, she was dreaming big, and with each meeting, her vision was growing astronomically. Unknowingly to our groom - who was paying for everything.

Two weeks before the wedding, we were going through final payments for all vendors, as is standard procedure (after having presented the final budget two months prior), and we were all in for a shock. He decided to attend a meeting, for some reason not in the office but in a popular coffee shop.

Patrons were enjoying their beverages, and so were we as the meeting went on. However, in a single moment, the serenity abruptly came to an end. The groom was now questioning the increase in figures, and before I could respond, he proceeded to shout all kinds of obscenities at me, under the assumption that I had made the additions with the aim to solicit more money from him.

You could have heard a pin drop by the time he was finished with me, as there was complete silence in the coffee shop, and my dear bride simply turned aside and said nothing. All I could do was sit in silence and stare at him while thinking, “I’m done with them. I will not be subjected to such. I will not be at that wedding.” Instead I made a professional decision.

Once he had calmed down, I requested a meeting in my office later that day. They came over, and I was sitting there ready for them, having pulled out every single communication which contained every instruction and request from my bride that had led us to that moment.

He sat there, embarrassed, with his tail between his legs - the rest, as they say, is (beautiful) history. We had a wonderful wedding, and I even danced with him.

There are some valuable lessons I lived by at the time and I have not stopped applying to this day:

If it’s not in writing, it does not exist . There is no plan, idea, instruction or design that is accepted and acted upon unless it is written down. A paper trail of every detail no matter how minute is what every stakeholder works from, including the clients.
If one party is not highly involved in the planning process, throughout the journey, check in with the (not involved) partner , making sure their expectations are being met, and full communication is flowing.
Emotional intelligence is a key part of being a planner . You literally have to feel with your mind. Do not let emotions take over. Always remain professional, however do not leave yourself open to abuse.

Thus is the nature of the events industry, she is that teacher that is generous with her gold stars, but it takes a lot of hard work, dedication, integrity, persistence and eagerness to always learn and grow in order to earn them. Each client is like a new subject to be studied, and their event is that final exam that will show how much you have been studying and taking into account their every need, desire and whim.

I am thankful that these have been few and far between. The rest have been an absolute pleasure to do, and I have three decades worth of accolades to prove this!

And remember, excellence always!

Three Bags Full

Wed, 01 Mar 2023 03:59:16 GMT

Glitter, glitz and glam, this is what a lot people perceive events and a planner’s life to be.

On the contrary, if one is going to be an effective planner - more so a star planner - you need to understand the necessity of having a heart to serve.

In order to get to the glitz, you have to firstly humble yourself, and always know that you are a conduit between the client and their desired event.

For the duration of your contract, you are on assignment and there unfortunately is no magic wand, but a lot of running around, calling, writing, making changes and being at the beck and call of your client until the complete execution of their function.

We may have expertise in the field, but we leave ourselves behind and enter into the realm of what our client wants and how to make it happen.

It is our duty to push our clients to be unique, and help them think outside the box. Sometimes they don't know what they don't know until we present to them ALL their options. Options they may not know exist.

We can guide accordingly and assist in making changes that align with their budget, the seasons or availability of the items they require.

A lot of industry peers see me as a tyrant that is pedantic about precision, business ethics and all round excellence. As the Manager of the event, service providers need to understand my reputation and relationship with the client rely on their coming through .

It is not about being the “boss” of the event, but servitude. It is therefore my commitment to pay attention to every detail, no matter how small. It takes but one small loose thread to unravel a whole garment, and so it is with events, it takes but one shortcut or negligent act to spoil a client's event .

Through the exhaustion, body aches, misbehaving weather, service provider shenanigans, we do our utmost to deliver with excellence.

As the nursery rhyme goes, there are three bags full to giving event planning excellence:

A heart to serve
Commitment to craft
Dedication to delivery

The glitter, glitz and glam are the cherry on top for the client and their guests if you and the other service providers completely come through.

Continue to follow along as we dive into different topics.

And remember, excellence always!